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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
