Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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