just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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