so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
