Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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