Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
