She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
