everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
