she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need water and some morals
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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