p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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