Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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