My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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