my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Congratulations! We have a period
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
