you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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