When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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