Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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