i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
