I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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