Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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