Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
