ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
