Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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