are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I want is dick and wine.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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