she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm having to shit out rocks
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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