Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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