doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
