I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
These tits shall not be calmed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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