just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
