I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
