I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
3 2 1 whiskey
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
