Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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