My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
