my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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