She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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