I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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