FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
