We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
