Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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