He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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