A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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