Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
