dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
