A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
