C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
