sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
