The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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