wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
