i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
