I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
