Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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